Today, I am thankful for the struggles that I have had in life. I have been beaten and I have been treated as if I were less than human by those who claim to love me. I have been homeless on my own and with one of my children. I have been tricked in to bad situations by people who were able to quickly recover but left me to flounder on my own. I have been, and pretty much still am… broke as a joke.
After being all of those things, I have learned something about myself. I am a survivor. I am a hustler. I may get knocked down, but I will never be knocked out. I always come back. If not because of my sheer will power but for the sake of my children, I will survive.
I am thankful for monetary life lessons to pass on to my children. Everywhere that I have failed in life at a young age, I have taught my children not to do. The biggest thing is teaching my 18 year old son that just because you have no credit and can get a brand new car off of the show room floor, does not mean that you should. I went gung ho at 18. I had every credit card and a brand new car… for about three months. Now, 20 years later, I still have crap credit. I joke saying that my credit is so bad that I cannot even get a pre-paid cell phone…all becuase I was dumb at that age.
I am thankful for almost ten years of working as a door to door sales person. I spent five years travelling with a sales crew and then sold independently off and on for five more years. This is an experience I would not tell anyone to go through. The sales crew life is horrible. You work ten hour days, six days a week for very little pay. You have to room with people you do not like. You have to deal with crack heads and drunks as co-workers and possible room mates. The drama. The sexual harassment. The fights. The many times getting kicked out of hotels. The many time getting arrested for peddaling without a license because the supervisor is too lazy to take 30 minutes to file for one. The sex. The drugs. The parties. The minimal pay. The feeling that you have no other choice but to stay when you want to leave. It was a rough life.
So, yes, I am thankful for all of the bad experiences that came with working for a door to door sales crew, but I am most thankful for the good things that came of it. I learned how to deal with all kinds of people. I could literally sell ice to and eskimo now. I know that if all else fails in my life, and I desperately need money that I could grab anything and sell it door to door if need be. It made me the hustler that I am today. I may never be wealthy, but I will always have enough to take care of my kids, and that knowledge and skill is irreplaceable.
I am thankful for having an open mind and passing that mentality on to my children. I am not sure where exactly it came from, but I have always been one to investigate before just jumping to conclusions. I believe that it has saved me many fights and kept me from losing relationships with the people who mean the most to me. It is a trait that I wish more people in this world had.
Day 7 (ok here come the sappy ones)
I am thankful for the family that adopted my daughter. You read that right. I have a daughter who is two years older than my son that I gave up for adoption. She grew up wanting for nothing. She was raised in a family who was very well established and really wants for nothing. She was also raised to be kind to others and is very active in her community. Right now, she is in college playing soccer (an inherited trait, maybe?). These are things that I could not give her. Sure I could have raised her to be kind and active in her community, but I would not have had the means to give her the life she has had. She never knew what it was like to stand in line at a food bank waiting to get free groceries, but she has stood on the other side of that line and passed them out to people like me.
Sometimes, I sit and wonder if it is okay for me to be proud of her since I had no hand in making her into the young woman that she is today. The genetics and love are there, but her parents were the force that drove her life forward to where it is today. Either way, I am thankful for them giving her the life that I could not.
I am thankful for my parents. Now, when I talk about my parents it can get kind of confusing, so I will break it down.
I have a father who, for the most part, was not a huge part of my life growing up. I do not want this to turn in to some pissing contest, but let’s just say that the important part is that he is trying to be a part of it now.
My mother, my mommy, well…things have not always been great between us. We are both hard headed Aries women who are too alike and bump heads all of the time, but I would not trade her in for anything in the world. No matter how much we fight… No matter how many years we can go without speaking to each other… we love each other so strongly that it is almost scary. You will never find another pair like us.
My Dad that died was a man who came in to our lives at a time when we needed him most and was taken away from us too soon. He was kind and loving, and he will forever hold a piece of my heart.
My adopted Mom was a beautiful woman who had so much room in her heart that she claimed me and my children as her own. Sadly, she was taken from us all too soon as well.
My Dad…the guy who has always been larger than life in my mind since I met him at around nine years of age is one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. We had our ups and downs. I surely put him through hell during my teen years, but when I needed him most, he was there for me… no questions asked.
This last I am adding was not a parent, but she was close enough to be added in here… My Auntie Mary, God rest her soul, was my favorite person in the whole wide world. She was like a mommy, a grandma, a best friend, a sister, and a confidant all rolled up into one amazing lady. I just wish my children had a chance to know her like I did.
For this day, I am most thankful for the wonderful man that God put into my life, my fiance. After a terrible marriage, a failed relationship with my so-called best friend, and a couple of weirdos, I all but gave up on finding a guy for me. I put it in God’s hands…literally. I got down on my knees and prayed that God send me someone who was meant for me…someone who would love me for who I am and not what I could do for them… someone who would accept my children as his own… someone who would love me with his heart and not his fists or cheating soul. After some time, he sent me this amazing man who is so kind and loving that I almost didn’t believe I deserved him. God sent me Diante, and for that I will be eternally grateful.
And, of course, for this last one, I am thankful for my children and the relationship that I have with them. My kids are the biggest pains in my ass, but the biggest pieces of my heart as well. I could not imagine my life without them being in it. We have such special relationships that it amazes me. My son can and will literally talk to me about everything that goes on in his life. My daughter is just the light of my whole world. She can brighten any room with her smile…and she ALWAYS wants to be with her mom even now in these pre-teen years. I will hold on to that for as long as possible.
My kids are not only smart and loving, they are incredibly beautiful. I have keep a bat to beat off callers of the opposite sex… lol. Having these two in my life makes me feel truly blessed… and for that, I am thankful.
Make sure you leave me a comment below letting me know what you are thankful for.
Tizzy Says ~ Love each other every day because tomorrow is never promised today.